The hurt that is unspoken, the anger that goes unexpressed and the self-criticism that hardens our thoughts into self-destructive immobilising pain.
“What the…. are you talking about, it’s arthritis, that thing you get when you get older, everybody gets it”? It’s what we expect. That’s the way it is. Interesting comments and ones that are not uncommon when arthritis is discussed. It’s something that is expected to happen to us as if we have no control over what happens to our bodies. We accept something ultimately damaging to eat away and crumble our very structure of life. Sounds crazy right!
What is Arthritis, Rheumatoid Arthritis, Osteoarthritis, Reactive Arthritis but inflammation, a build-up of toxins, an auto-immune disease that attacks the membrane of the joints. What is inflammation but something hot and angry. What are toxins but a build up of toxic thoughts, behaviours and attitudes, usually erupted by the abusive and thoughtless behaviour of others which become our own thoughtless, critical abusive self- sabotaging behaviours.
Movement and change become limiting as joints become rigid and painful. An interesting symbolism for what happens psychologically and how then is reflected in our attitudes towards our lives.
What you find is that people who have been very active are often hiding a tendency to be overly-disciplined and self-critical.
I here you say WHAT!!! [MM1] Isn’t Arthritis a natural part of ageing? Not necessarily! Influences of ageing appear to be habits and perceptions.
Arthritis is a bit like allowing someone to take up residence inside of you who is constantly berating, criticising, disempowering and rejecting all aspects of you. Oh yes! We take drugs to try to manage the pain but it’s still there, which is a bit like sticking you fingers in your ear and humming lalalalala to ignore the constant irritation.
So, what’s the answer Sherlock? I hear your say. If there was one answer for the whole population of the world, the drugs would have worked by now but the Newtonian concept of how the natural world works seems to have been proven wrong, i.e. take connecting elements of a system apart, check for the source of the issue and then try to control the outcome by just focussing on that specific part. That’s ok if we were living in a world where things were solid matter with solid boundaries, but they aren’t. However, we do still like to try to bang a square peg into a round hole. We live in a quantum field where everything is a fluid flowing, interacting and reactive whole. Everything affects everything else and I mean everything.
Yeah yeah! Ok! So, what do we do about it? Remember earlier on I spoke about ageing as a concept of habits and perceptions? Well what perceptions do you want to become a habit?
Think of the habit and perceptions as the person you are allowing to take up residence in your body. We will call him or her “Paininthehabit” for now. Remember your body should be your best friend because it works harder than anything or anybody else in your life. It looks after you better than anybody else in your life and what do we do but ignore, reject and feed it toxic stuff. If your best friend was in pain and suffering from a debilitating illness, think about what you would do and say to help that person. You would go to lengths to make sure they were not harmed, kept safe and well. Take care of them and show them they are loved.
Ask yourself these things:
· Have there been times when you needed to be heard and acknowledged only to be ignored and dismissed?
· Do you fear saying No due to fears of being rejected, abandoned and judged harshly?
· Do you feel more validated, recognised and noticed if you take on more responsibility?
· Do you feel you are destroying yourself due to perceptions of guilt and shame that seem to haunt you?
· Being loved and comforted may not have been a pleasant experience for you in your earlier life or as an adult. It may have been conditional on ensuring another person’s needs are met. Do you feel inadequate when you have to show love and overload yourself with responsibilities to avoid that situation?
· What does it feel like to do things for yourself that make you feel good about you bring you comfort?
· Do you do things that provoke either being verbally or physically attacked just to get that feeling of adrenaline?
· Do you need to approval of the opposite sex or gender that rejected you as a child. You may have a low intolerance due to feeling manipulated into doing things that did not bring you joy. Do you attract partners who reflect the way that influential mother or father made you feel?
· Often Arthritics have clenched and distorted fists, so is there something or someone you want to hit out at and have not been able to express these frustrations verbally where you feel you would be listened to and understood?
These are just a few things that can build up over time and make you feel resentful or not in control, so you feel the need to be overly controlling in order to feel safe and this is where these hard-rigid behaviours turn into the invading, limiting and eroding effects of arthritis.
Awareness of this is the first step to evicting Arthritis from your life, physically, mentally and emotionally. Acknowledging that we all are affected by perceptions which do not belong to us and it’s ok to say a polite F*** off when things are not good for you is another. When we are children this response would probably we frowned upon, so being more aware of ourselves as adults really is of prime importance so that we teach our children a healthier way of living. One very important point is that, ordinarily we don’t just allow any random person to take up residence in our homes, so please be more discerning about who and what you allow to influence your perceptions.
Take good care of your beautiful, forgiving selves folks.